“Look what you did you little jerk!”
Rob Miller (D) and Dave Hansen (R)
Last night, I attended a very interesting forum for bloggers at the Sutherland Institute. The discussion was about civility in politics and included representatives from both the Democratic and Republican parties.
As you might imagine, this debate on civility in politics was extremely civil, which was refreshing in contrast with recent overly-heated debates at town hall meetings and the incessant blabbering and bickering so common among cable and radio talk shows (is that comment uncivil? If so, then I apologize).
You likely encounter incivility in various places — political debate, the freeway, the grocery store check-out stand, sports events, and even in your own home. You and I may even be guilty of uttering uncivil words or performing uncivil actions from time to time.
I have found incivility to be most common and extreme when there is a barrier between two people and, especially, when one or both people’s identity is hidden. For example, put two people who disagree on an issue face-to-face and more than likely a relatively civil discussion will ensue. However, put those two people in two separate automobiles or in their own homes using the World Wide Web to communicate, and their tempers may flare, their word choice degenerate into insults, and their claims become stretched, exaggerated, or false.
I witness this almost daily on the road and on the comment boards of news sites and blogs, including on the articles I’ve written. I also witnessed it in anonymous student evaluations as a teacher at BYU. Anonymity shields us from the possible negative repercussions of our words and actions, which can bring out the worst in us.
How can we raise the level of discourse in our nation, communities, and families? The solutions are easy to identify but difficult to apply. I’ll offer six:
1. Remember that the worth of every soul is great in the eyes of God
2. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes to try to understand their point of view
3. Express disagreement in a way that respects other peoples’ opinions, values, and self-worth
4. Don’t write or say anything you wouldn’t say to a person’s face
5. Don’t write or say anything you wouldn’t say in your mother’s presence
6. Assume that all poor drivers are rushing a very pregnant woman to the hospital
Have any to add? I think that if we could all put these suggestions into practice, then the world would be a better place.
Finally, please consider these quotes on civility from Stephen L. Carter:
“Our duty to be civil towards others does not depend on whether we like them or not.”
“Civility requires that we listen to others with the knowledge of the possibility that they are right and we are wrong.”
What do you think?
I worry a lot about people, including those we love, getting drawn in to the emotional addiction of “hate radio” and “hate TV”. When politics rage in the hearts of men all common sense and “civility” is abandoned. I have heard the most bizarre comments come from people arguing a point that is “politically charged”. I know that they don’t believe what they are saying but because the enemy is for an issue they are against it. I think people who promote this kind of hate (TV and Radio hosts) are doing a very bad service to all of us. They love to polarize the world instead of finding common ground. (My dad’s reaction to your article). Keep up the good work Picchi
Comment by Josh — September 30, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
Thanks for the opportunity for this dialogue. I truly enjoyed last night’s briefing.
Comment by Rob Miller — September 30, 2009 @ 2:54 pm
I like that quote from Stephen Carter: “Our duty to be civil towards others does not depend on whether we like them or not.”
Even just watching kid’s shows, the things that you remember and watch again are too often the rude behavior which shouldn’t be funny.
Comment by Janene — October 1, 2009 @ 1:37 pm